So, as it turns out, I got to class early enough to get in a brief meditation before people started rolling in. Good thing. The rest of the class was fucked. First some camera guy shows up, says he’s with KTLA. D lets him know what’s what (i.e., no filming during class but they can shoot their segment after we finish if anyone wants to volunteer to be in the shot) and the guy agrees. What choice does he have? Tee-hee! Anyway, so KTLA is under control but I’m a little miffed that Sara and I either have to wait for Daniel to finish with the “news” people or I have to miss taking him home. Merde.
Then, as we’re about 15 minutes into class, these 2 jackasses show up to toss a baseball around and stroke each other’s egos, and one of them has a really big mouth… seems to be under the impression he’s at an audition for Entourage. (My hand to god, the guy picks up his phone and says into it, with not an ounce of irony, “Talk to me.” For fucking real.)
So one guy in the class finally shushes him, which Mr. Mouth does not take kindly, of course. He has a point, though, being that it’s a public park… a point Daniel is quick to make, as well. Though D does ask us at one point—while the mental special olympics is in full swing—”Ever feel like you’re being tested?”
Aw, HELL to the yeah! This whole fucking day has been a test! And I failed miserably. That’s okay, though… I’ll have lots of chances to retake it.
What is my problem today? Everyone is irritating the hell out of me, I feel like I can’t get a damn thing done even though there’s not all that much to be done, and I just tripped over my fan cord and landed with a spectacular thud on my knee. Shit.
Icing the knee. But haven’t figured out my head. Maybe I should meditate. In the 10 minutes I have before I have to get my ass in gear and get to yoga? Where I also won’t be able to meditate before class because there will be people I can’t just close my eyes on and ignore. Won’t be able to do it tonight either because Sara’s coming over. Tomorrow’s Daniel-day (BTW… YAY!). Maybe tomorrow night? Yes. Assuming I can make it that long without poisoning myself or slamming my head in the car door or some such catastrophe.
Why can’t I just take myself in for an alignment? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Filed under: happy dance
To quote Linda Ronstadt. This week was effortless, joyous… free. Except, of course, for the nearly $400 I forked over to fix my exhaust and front drive axle. But my car is over 10 years old, so I guess it’s the least I could do for it. Fortunately, work has been steady and plentiful, yet not overwhelming. In fact, it’s been so manageable, I was able to play hooky on Tuesday!
A week or so ago, I noticed (on K-Jazz’s website, I think) that Poncho Sanchez was going to be playing a free show at Hollywood and Highland Tuesday night, so I immediately texted D. Realizing that it didn’t make sense for me to go home after Tuesday morning yoga just to turn around a few hours later and come right back to Hollywood, he suggested we have lunch that day at the Krishna temple in Culver City and check out their boutique (since I had mentioned wanting some loose, thin cover-ups to limit my sun exposure while riding my bike to yoga). So it was a full D-day. And it was beautiful.
Kamala taught class that morning… it was a little easier than her normal routine for some reason. Probably because she didn’t leave us in that insane, forward-leaning crescent pose for 5 minutes like she usually does. But I did almost pass out at one point when coming up to standing from something partially inverted. I think my iron levels must be low. So I got a beet salad at the Krishna temple buffet. All the food was fantastic (and CHEAP!), but the yellow daal was especially fab. As was the chocolate halvah… like no halvah I’ve ever had. Someone said it was made from quinoa… don’t know if that was what made the difference, but the texture was like a REALLY moist cake (the Brits would probably call it a pudding). And the flavor… wow. It tasted kind of like a Tootsie Roll, but not as sweet… and more buttery (probably ghee… the butteriest butter of all… mmmmm :). I would’ve gone back for seconds if there hadn’t been a line.
We ate outside on the patio, enjoying that amazing ocean breeze that always seems to make its way in across West LA, but never quite as far inland as Hollywood (and Silver Lake… fugghetaboutit).
After lunch, we went upstairs to Govinda’s boutique. I could’ve spent all afternoon—and a lot more $$—there. (D is always so patient.) I found 3 gorgeous tunics that I’ve been wearing everywhere: one is white with black embroidery, another is a barely off-white with matching embroidery and longer, with a drop waist (so I can wear it as a beach cover-up, too!), and the last one is white with white embroidery and gossamer-thin… EXACTLY what I wanted for the SoCal summer.
We’ll definitely be going back. Soon
We spent the rest of the afternoon at D’s place and kind of lost track of time. The show was going to start at 7 and 6:00 creeped up on us in no time. So rather than try to make dinner, we walked to Greco’s for pizza and then headed over to H&H. We found seats right behind the stage… literally 20 feet from Poncho! He and his band KILLED it. It was all I could do not to get up and salsa my ass off, but there was a lady behind us who kept getting up to ask everybody who wandered in front of her to move so she could see. Pretty ballsy of her considering it was a free concert. But I was glad she did it because we had a great view for the whole show. Between sets, D went over to Starbucks… I thought he was just going to use their facilities, but he came back with a Rice Crispie treat! What a man.
Went back to his place after the show and watched the first half of Talk to Me (starring the best actor of his—or perhaps any—generation, Don Cheadle). It was getting late, though, so we decided to watch the rest another time and I headed home.
So, Friday. Independence Day. Also the 3 month anniversary of our first date. Don’t know if D realized it. I didn’t mention it because I’m always nauseated by those couples who celebrate things like that… but I did recognize it. D taught yoga that morning. Small class (relatively speaking) but he raked in the donations.
After class, Matthew asked him what he was doing for the 4th and D said he and I were probably going to go watch some fireworks. Turns out Matthew lives just a few streets over from me, so he invited us to a cookout at his place. D was noncommittal but asked me later if I’d prefer that he pick up some veggie burgers to throw on their grill rather than cook his favorite garlic pasta as I had planned. I said, no, let’s do the pasta… that way we can stay at Matt’s as long or as little as we like. (Which turned out to be a good plan.)
I had done most of the cleaning I needed to do the night before, so when I got home, I ate lunch, finished the rest of the cleaning, then started prepping for dinner. D called around 3:30 and said he was heading over and for once I was ready for him! I had dinner ready in about a half hour to 45 minutes… record time. Afterwards, he took me for gelato (with his giant roll of ones). Then we decided to stop by Matthew’s.
It was a longer walk than I thought it would be… mostly uphill. I had never been down that street so I didn’t realize how long and winding it was. Anyway, we got to Matt’s place (which he shares with his girlfriend) and it was—mercifully—a small group… and almost as many dogs as people. The dogs were hilarious, but I also found the people to be quite welcoming and down-to-earth for the most part. D started getting antsy, though, when he realized that there were a couple of them who were pretty big attention whores and seemed to be jockeying for the “spotlight”. (They didn’t bother me, though. They weren’t obnoxious, and I actually kind of like it when there are one or 2 “performers” at a party… just means I don’t have to worry about keeping anyone entertained.) So we left after about an hour.
Came back home and had some time to kill before the fireworks started. So we started our own. (Commence gagging.) Then, rather than fighting the crowds to see the fireworks from Griffith Observatory or Dodgers Stadium, we just popped out the screen from the French window at the end of my hall, climbed out on the balcony and watched them from there. Perfect! Then we came back in and watched Kill Bill Vol. 2 (D had only seen Vol. 1 and hated it). It was pretty late, so D headed home after the movie.
This weekend, we’ve been on the phone so much that it wasn’t even difficult to spend it apart. It’s like we’re really riding the same wave. Or maybe we were just separated at birth. 2 or 3 people have told me we look alike. And we do both have German roots. Well, as Chris Isaak said, “Incest is what makes America great!” God bless America.
Filed under: how soon is now?, people are people, surrender, what are words for?
A cloud does not know
why it moves in just such a direction
and at such a speed.
It feels an impulsion… this is the place to go now.
But the sky knows
the reasons and the patterns
behind all clouds,
and you will know, too,
when you lift yourself high enough
to see beyond
horizons.
- Richard Bach -
Filed under: how soon is now?, indefinable, my dawgs, people are people, surrender
But cooler than my apartment. Summer sure knows how to make an entrance. Weather.com said it was 96 degrees yesterday. Clearly, weather.com did not spend the morning in a top-floor, east-facing apartment with black floors and a wall full of windows. D & I decided to hang out at his place since it’s on the ground floor with tons of shade and a good cross-breeze… versus my incinerator from the 11th circle of hell. So in an effort to arrive with as little of my face melted off as possible, I used the a/c on the ride over. Nevertheless, as soon as I walked into his place (which was still pretty steamy despite its fortunate positioning), I instantly felt the heat exhaustion symptoms returning. But genius that he is, D put ice packs on me and soon the headache was gone and I was quite comfortable. We went out to dinner later, then hung out with some of his neighbors while they tried to get the grill going. Don’t know why all the fuss, though… their carne asada would’ve cooked just as easily if left out at “room temperature”.
Lovely night, though… as was Wednesday night (when there was a full moon!). Seems like ever since Mercury left retrograde we’ve been back in our groove. Not that things weren’t good then. It just didn’t always feel quite as effortless as before (and now after) Mercury’s shenanigans. But we crossed that bridge without either of us jumping off (which is a lot easier to do in these early stages), so that bodes well, I think.
Saw Caroline today at Casbah with her mom. She’s here this week for work and it sounds like a busy one for her so I’m glad we got some time to talk. And that she brought her mom with her. Always nice to practice my French, but also to be in the presence of someone with such… well… presence. She (Caro’s mom) seems to be enjoying her séjour toute seule… minus the heat, of course. I think she’s explored more of this ‘burg in 4 weeks than I have in 4 years! Anyway, it sounds like Caro’s coming to Brooke’s going-away shindig next Saturday (as is D), so at least she’ll get to see everyone else, too.
We reluctantly left Casbah’s air conditioned splendor and said our au revoirs. I came home and immediately whipped out my ice packs. Ahhhhhhhhh. Even got some reading done (A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle). The whole afternoon brought to mind a meditation I went to years ago at the Tibetan Buddhist center just outside DC. We sat around and talked afterwards and the guy who led the discussion said something I’ll never forget: (paraphrasing) We spend so much time and energy desperately trying to be smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough, funny enough… good enough. All the while, never realizing that we already are.
It’s like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz, when Glenda the Good Witch tells her that she’s had the power to go home all along. I always thought Glenda was a royal bitch for holding out on her all that time until she had taken out the Wicked Witch. But maybe the flip side is that it wasn’t until then that Dorothy was really ready to go home (”home” being her true essence). Until we’re ready for the endlessness and oneness and peace of who we really are, we’ll never believe how easy it is to get there. Much less that we never really left.
But it’s a little terrifying. Because I live in LA. Drivers here aren’t used to sharing the road with cyclists. Hell, they’re not used to sharing the smog-choked air they breathe. So I’m doing an inordinate amount of plotting and scheming before I even put wheels to asphalt… mapping out routes, devising clever ploys to make or avoid left turns, and making contingency plans in case of a blow-out or wipe-out.
Speaking of which, I still need to learn how to ride the thing. Even when I had a 10-speed as a kid, I never fully grasped shifting gears. I vaguely recall having a problem with the chain jumping its track whenever I did. Hopefully, it was just operator error and all my pending research will tell me what that error was.
It’s one hella sweet ride, though. A bright red Specialized Sirrus Sport from 1997. Is that considered vintage? I dunno. But it looks brand new. Refurbished with love by Monica at Coco’s Variety Shop (who I need to thank for being a couple inches too short to comfortably ride the thing, otherwise she’d probably be blogging about her sweet new red Specialized right now).
Anyway, I might try it out today… I’ll need to run to the bank and I think I can get there without taking too hazardous (or circuitous) a route. I’ll report back on the results…
Filed under: surrender
… it’s nice to have someone there who’s strong enough to catch you. And does.
Filed under: what are words for?
“I imagine that yes is the only living thing.”
- e.e. cummings -
Wow, it’s been a while. About a month. Coincidentally (or perhaps not), as of yesterday, it’s also been one month since I started seeing quite possibly the best man I’ve ever met. I don’t like making such comparisons—especially when they’re apples to kumquats in most cases—but in this case, I think it fits. He’s certainly the best man for me. No games. No bullshit. Just loads of humor, honesty, thoughtfulness, affection… it’s just so EASY.
Another amazing thing—besides the fact that he not only still wants to see me after a month, but seems to want to see me more—is that I had my big, life-changing epiphany on February 5th or 6th. Which is almost exactly the time that his last relationship ended. That’s some good timing, boy.
Anyway, I missed the “anniversary” because I was hunkered down on this infernal machine trying to crank out a job that was due today. But I suppose we did technically ring in the 4th together (and I mean ring-a-ding-ding, baby) since he was leaving my place just after the stroke of midnight as he turned a lovely, autumnal shade of orange. And today he invited me to dinner at his place after Wednesday evening yoga. Beautiful.
So this is what it’s supposed to be like. I had no idea.
Filed under: indefinable
Unfurl… salute the sun.
Invitation… surprising man.
Chasing sleep… still in awe.
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